Kicking Puppies
by Airzel Gekisho
Summary: Airzel and Stoica go on a magical adventure to defeat Neathia. Contains slash, inappropriateness, language, and complete and utter crack.
1. And So It Begins

It was a beautiful day on Gundalia. The Bakugan were at war with each other, stepping on puppies and killing everything in their paths. Phantom Dharak was raging and burning houses with his lasers. Everyone completely ignored this and went on with their days as normal, and everyone seemed happy about it.

Except for Airzel.

Airzel was generally grumpy and unhappy, and today was just getting worse by the minute. He had just found out that he had to go to Neathia to fight some stupid humans that were trying to be big dumbass heroes. Hooray! His favorite thing to do! Actually, that's not true... he prefers kicking puppies.

As he sat at home, reading the letter he had received, he began to wonder why in the heck Barodius would choose him. He didn't want to play this stupid children's card game for a living! He had better things to do! Unfortunately, he was rudely interrupted by an annoyingly high-pitched voice.

"Airzel, if you're going on an adventure, can I go too?"

Airzel glared back over his shoulder at Stoica, who was sticking his head around the corner from the other room. Stoica was his… well, he didn't like the term "boyfriend", but that's what you would call it. Stoica used to be a male prostitute who had worked on the streets before Airzel had picked him up one drunken night. Ever since then, Stoica had been convinced that Airzel and he were "meant to be" or something like that… and he refused to leave the house.

"Bitch, get back in the kitchen."

"But I wanna go on an adventure!" whined Stoica. God, he was annoying.

"No."

"But I WANNA! You never let me do ANYTHING!"

"I said no. Now get back in the kitchen."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

Airzel was fed up with his bitch's whining, and let out a long sigh.

"Fine, you can come with me… as long as you don't ask for sex every night. Oh, and if you make a mess, you'll have to clean it up… and then some."

Stoica let out a loud squeak and instantly glomped onto Airzel. "!" he squealed.

"That's nice. Now I'll never be able to hear again. And for God's sake, let go of me!"

Stoica un-glomped himself from Airzel and skipped gaily back into the kitchen. Airzel let out another long, deep sigh.

"I'm going to shoot myself."


	2. Separating the Men from the Girly Men

The next day, Airzel set out to begin his adventure. Since their destination was more than walking distance away from Airzel's place, as most destinations were, he decided to take his extremely phallic airship to get there. Of course, Stoica followed along, giggling and squealing like a teenage girl who had just read a good slash fic.

"Would you stop with those noises? God, you sound like you're dying of asphyxiation."

"Sorry Airzel, I'm just excited to go on an ADVENTUUUUURE~"

"Don't make me turn this extremely phallic airship around!"

With that, Stoica instantly shut up. Unfortunately for Airzel, he didn't know that when Stoica was quiet, he was plotting. And he was definitely plotting this time.

Within a minute, Stoica had his plan. He snuck up behind Airzel, and grabbed his gravity-defying hairclip, which caused his gravity-defying ponytail to defy gravity no more.

Airzel turned around slowly. "Stoica?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you steal my hairclip?"

"Because it's shiny."

"Do you realize that I need that clip to keep my hair in the right position?"

"Um…"

"And do you also realize that I need my hair to be this way every day?"

"No…"

"Well, I do. And if you ever, EVER, steal my hair clip again, God so help me I'll tie you up and leave you in the basement to DIE."

Stoica quietly handed over the metal clip and sat back down. Airzel began fiddling with his hair, trying to get it back in the proper position.

"Stoica, you'll have to drive for a minute, I have to fix my hair."

Stoica glared at Airzel. "I don't want to drive, faggot."

Airzel groaned. Stoica was suffering from split-personality disorder... Well, not really suffering, more so, he was using it to his advantage. Of course he just HAD to pick the worst time possible to get all pissy. Airzel sighed. "Can you PLEASE drive?"

"I said, I don't WANT to. What don't you understand about that?"

"And I said, I have to fix my hair! Now stop being a douchebag and DRIVE!"

"NO!"

"DO IT OR YOU DIE!"

"TRY AND KILL ME! I DARE YOU!"

Airzel was tempted to go with Stoica's dare and strangle him, but he then remembered that when Stoica was pissed off, he was PISSED OFF. Thus, strangulation did not occur.

About 5 minutes of silence later, Stoica finally spoke up. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Oh, so you're better now?" Airzel asked grumpily.

"Yeah…"

"Can you DRIVE now?"

"I get to DRIVE?" Stoica squealed. He never got to drive, and this excited him very much.

"Yes, but only for a minute or so while I go fix my hair."

Stoica squealed as Airzel left the cockpit to go find a mirror. He wondered if it was really a good idea to leave the ship under the control of someone as ADHD as Stoica, but his worries were forgotten as soon as he walked into the bathroom.

Because what he saw in that bathroom would require hours of brain bleaching to forget.

"Sid, what the hell are you doing in here?"

"Uh… I can explain! I swear!" the blonde stuttered. Yes, this was THE Sid Arcale… wearing a pink cocktail dress and applying makeup in the bathroom of Airzel's beloved dickship.

"Oh really?"

"Yes… There's a reason behind this! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!"

"Okay man, just slow down. All I need to know is why the hell you're wearing that _thing_ and _applying makeup _in the bathroom of _my_ ship."

"Well…", Sid began, "it all started a few days ago. Jesse was making fun of me for being the manliest of all the guys in the Twelve Orders. And then Ren told me that I have to look like a chick for anyone to take me seriously around here. But Mason locked me out of my room and Barodius wouldn't yell at him, so I figured I'd just use the bathroom in your ship to make myself look pretty. How was I supposed to know you were gonna use it?"

Airzel shook his head. "I'm pretty sure that _Kazarina_ is more manly than you, dude. And she thinks that she's SAILOR FREAKING MOON. Now get out of my bathroom before I shove my foot up your ass."

Sid left the bathroom, still wearing the dress. Airzel watched him as he went, wondering how the hell someone so insanely stupid like Sid could end up being recruited to join the Twelve Orders. He continued pondering this as he put his hair back up into its usual gravity-defying style. Once he was happy with the way he looked, he headed back out to the cockpit, where Stoica was actually doing a good job of driving.

Unfortunately, Stoica wasn't good with directions, as Airzel would soon learn.

"Where the hell are we?"

"…I don't know."


	3. The iPod Chronicles

As the duo realized how lost they really were, Airzel began banging his head violently against the wall. "I can't believe… you could actually be so STUPID as to get us lost! This isn't ROCKET SCIENCE! It's PILOTING A SHIP TO NEATHIA, WHICH, IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, YOU'VE DONE BEFORE! How is it that you're part of the Twelve Orders, yet COMPLETELY RETARDED? I swear…"

Stoica looked down at the floor and noticed something shiny on the ground. He picked it up.

_(Somewhere, in Ohio, on Earth, a teenage girl realizes that her iPod Nano is missing.)_

"Airzel, what's this?" he asked. Airzel took the object from his hand.

"I… don't fucking know."

_(As the teenager frantically searches for her iPod, she begins wondering if it were stolen, and if so, by whom.)_

"It has a port on it… why don't we plug it into the ship's computer and see what's on it?"

"Stoica, that might just be the most idiotic thing you've ever- oh wait." Airzel stated. He surely wasn't vague when he was insisting that nobody was as smart as he was.

Stoica, being the good listener he was, (read: he's not), plugged the shiny blue device into the computer anyway. A screen came up with a list of files. Stoica smiled derpily and clicked a random file off of the list.

_(The girl has finally given up on looking for her iPod, figuring that she just left it in her locker. She instead pulls open her iTunes and starts listening.)_

The file took a while to load, but after it did, a horrendously loud song began to play.

_"Oh oh ohhhhh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh , give us your leather pants…"_

"What… the hell… is this?" Airzel asked. The two men stared at each other blankly before realizing that this was one of those iPod things that humans were so obsessed with. They figured that one of the brainwashed human kids must have left it there.

_"Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge, him and me will take your leather pants…"_

Why there was a song about stealing some guy's leather pants on this… "iPod", was completely unknown. Yet it was a parody of a song by Lady Gaga, and EVERYONE knows that Gundalians like Lady Gaga. Stoica was completely enthralled by this, while Airzel just wanted it to stop.

_"I have watched Psycho and I liked Vertigo, The Birds was okay, OOH! I LOVE Rear Window, by Alfred Hitchcock, cock, cock, cock, we love Hitchcock…"_

That was the final straw for Airzel. Whoever the hell was singing this song had the WORST voice he'd EVER heard, and this was coming from the guy who lived with Stoica. And now he was singing about ALFRED HITCHCOCK? Nope, nothing could be worse than this. Lost. In space. With Stoica. And this iPod thing.

Airzel went towards the computer to unplug the offending iPod, but Stoica blocked him from getting anywhere near it. The ginger seemed to actually be enjoying himself… Maybe a little too much. Airzel was half-expecting to have Stoica begging to screw him on the floor of a dickship.

_"Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha, ga ha ha ha ha, we got the leather pants!"_

The song was finally over, and it began to segue into the next. This next song sounded horribly happy, and Airzel knew it was definitely going to taste like diabetes. Luckily, Stoica turned it off before the man singing could get past the first line. Something about brushing his teeth. What a strange individual.

_(10 songs later, the girl realizes that she NEEDS her iPod or she will DIE. She gets up, leaves her room, and begins to scour the house for it.)_

Stoica turned around to hand the iPod to Airzel. And as Stoica turned around, he neglected to hide the bag of snacks in his lap. Airzel was thoroughly pissed at this.

"Were you… WERE YOU EATING MY FUNYUNS?"

Stoica shrank down in his seat. "I only ate a few! It was that song… it was so sexy, IT CONTROLLED MY MIND!"

"Well then you'll NEVER HEAR IT AGAIN!" Airzel shouted as he threw the iPod out of the ship's window. It hurtled through space and flew towards another Galaxy.

"That wasn't nice."

_(The teenage girl finally returns to her room to find that her iPod is on her windowsill. However, it seems to have been used by someone else… and it smells like Funyuns.)_


	4. What Happens in the Storage Closet

About a week after the fiasco with the iPod, Airzel and Stoica were tired, running out of supplies, and still hopelessly lost. They decided to stop on a nearby planetoid to get food and directions. In other words, they blew up a convenience store, stole all of the Funyuns and Mountain Dew, then held the poor worker guy at gunpoint in order to get directions to Neathia. Since the moron didn't know where Neathia was, Airzel vaporized him with his Gundalian Lightning Powers. The pair then re-boarded their ship, and flew off into space.

"Where are we going?" asked Stoica with his so-called "cute voice".

"NOBODY KNOWS!" yelled Airzel. Stoica had already gotten him to the end of his rope, and he swore that he would violently destroy whoever dared bother him next. Suddenly, they heard a strange noise coming from the storage closet, followed by a few moans.

"…Someone's having SEX in the storage closet!" Stoica whispered with an air of total seriousness.

Airzel shook his head. "The only people on this ship are you, me, and that fag Sid. Thus, no one is having sex in the storage closet."

"But that's what it SOUNDS like…"

"No. It's not. And I'll prove it to you." Airzel went to open the storage closet door. "See? No one's havin- OH MY GOD…"

Behind the door of the storage closet was Airzel's stalker, Zenet. She was currently spread-eagle, leaning against the broken soda machine, attempting to use a dildo that would make the most seasoned pornstars tear up in pain. Airzel just stared at her, wondering why the hell she was in his closet. He also wondered why the hell they hadn't thrown out that broken soda machine yet. More importantly, he wondered why Zenet was in _his_ closet. And where in the name of Lady Gaga did she get a dildo that big?

"Hey there big boy… wanna help me out?" she said in a sultry voice. Airzel just continued to stare at her with a concernedly shocked expression. All he wanted was for her to leave him the fuck alone! She'd been stalking him for who knows how long, and of course, like most people, she wanted sex. And lots of it.

Stoica suddenly broke the silence. "BITCH, HE'S MINE!", he shouted while cuntpunting Zenet. He then proceeded to snatch her giant dildo and throw it out of the ship's window. "LEAVE MY MAN ALONE!" Zenet made the epic sad face as Stoica yelled at her. "AND GET OUT OF THIS SHIP!"

Zenet walked towards the ship's escape pods dejectedly. "Oh, no," said Stoica, "You're not using THOSE to leave. You're GOING OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW." he said, pointing at the side window of the ship.

"But I don't wanna go out the window. I'd rather use the-"

"BITCH, YOU WILL GO OUT THAT WINDOW AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!"

Zenet slowly opened the window and began to exit. Before she could plan a jump, Stoica ran up behind her and cuntpunted her out the window.

"AND NEVER COME BACK!"

Airzel just stood there and watched her burn as she flew through space. He never knew the ginger had it in him. Airzel shrugged and went back to the cockpit of the ship. Stoica followed.

"If she ever comes back, I'm gonna grab her by her hair and knee her in the face until she bleeds to death."

Sid heard this threat, thought they were talking about him, and jumped out the window behind Zenet. Nobody noticed because nobody cares about Sid. He burned to death as well.

Then their stupid screen-phone thing rang. Airzel wanted to ignore it, but Stoica pushed the pretty "answer" button anyway. It was Kazarina, camwhoring it up as usual. Oh, and she was wearing her Sailor Moon cosplay. Airzel did not feel the force of 20 boners with that one. Instead, his 20 boners retreated and hid somewhere in a dark cave, fearing what might happen if someone as psychotic as Kazarina got near them.

"HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT?"

"What."

"BARODIUS IS GONNA MAKE ME HIS QUEEN!"

"Whoop-dee-fucking-doo."

"AREN'T YOU EXCITED?"

"No. And stop talking in Caps Lock, it's not cool."

"WELL I LIKE CAPS LOCK!"

Airzel wished he could've shot her from where he was, but wherever that was, it was too far from Gundalia to actually shoot. Instead, he hung up on her retarded blonde ass. She called back.

"WHAT WAS THAT, DUMBASSES?"

"Sorry, I hit the wrong button."

"YEAH, RIGHT! ANYWAY, BARODIUS WANTS TO KNOW WHERE YOU GUYS ARE AND WHY YOU AREN'T INCREASING THE NEATHIAN BODY COUNT."

"We're lost, thanks to THIS KID." Airzel said, whipping Stoica back and forth. "I let him drive for 10 minutes, and he gets us horribly lost. I have NO IDEA how."

"WHATEVER- OH SHIT BRB GILL"

Airzel had no idea what that meant. Instead, he cut off the lines for the rest of the day. Peace and quiet.


	5. Episode 37 Or Something Like That

The next morning, Airzel decided to turn the phone lines back on. He felt like a trollface for turning them off in the first place. Within 20 minutes of doing this, the phone rang, and Stoica answered while Airzel was making breakfast. This time, it was Gill. He had blood spattered on his hands and face, and he was holding Kazarina's knife thing.

"Gill, didn't Barodius tell you to stop cutting yourself?" Stoica asked.

"Hilarious. No, I'm not cutting myself. I just killed a bitch and I need to know where to hide this body before Nurzak, Mason, and the Neathian princess find it."

"Whoa broseph, who'd you kill?"

"Kazarina…"

"Damn."

"Well, she didn't get it that I'M Barodius' queen, not her scummy slut ass!"

"Again, DAMN."

"Anyway, I need somewhere to put the body before someone finds it."

"Give us your coordinates, bro, we'll come find you and help you get rid of that."

"Sounds like a deal, bro!"

Stoica hung up the phone, not caring that Airzel had been in the kitchen the entire time. The ginger entered to talk to Airzel.

"We gotta go hide a body for Gill."

"WHAT?"

"He shanked the fuck outta Kazarina, and he sent us coordinates so we can go hide the body with him."

"I repeat… WHAT?"

"And I repeat, WE'RE GOING TO NEATHIA TO HIDE A BODY!"

"God damnit."

"Well at least we're getting to Neathia, am I right?"

Airzel shook his head and went back to the kitchen where he was making pancakes and bacon. Stoica stole the box of pancake mix and proceeded to eat it dry with a spoon.

"The fuck?"

"YOU AIN'T GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!" Stoica shouted with a mouthful of that dry powdery crap. Airzel proceeded to steal the box back.

"Now YOU ain't got no pancake mix. Bitch." Airzel stared down at Stoica. The ginger looked like he might start crying. Airzel looked left, looked right, and kissed his bitch on the cheek. Stoica ran off giggling; mostly because he never got any love or affection from Airzel.

"Go drive us to Neathia! And don't get us lost again!" Airzel shouted from the kitchen. He continued to make breakfast. Suddenly, Lena.

"CAN I HAVE A PANCAKE?" shouted Lena.

"…No."

"Why?"

"These are for me and Stoica. Get your own damn breakfast." Airzel flicked burning hot bacon grease at her face. She bawwwwwwed. Airzel snickered. Inside, of course.

"But I want a pancake! Just a little one!"

"But you can't have one!"

"BUT I WAAAAANT ONE!"

Airzel bitchslapped Lena with his greasy spatula. She could've cried. Airzel just glared at her. Lena then whipped out her calculator and began doing mathematical shit with it.

"The probability of you getting laid tonight is… roughtly -435%."

"The probability of you getting your ass kicked is 100%, bitch!" Airzel shouted as he leapt towards Lena in order to FINISH HER. He kicked her square in the face and sent her out the window. Stoica saw this and laughed. Airzel glared at him too.

"…So we're not having sex tonight?" the ginger asked.

"No."

"Aww."

"Shut up. Anyway, it's time for breakfast."

"FUCK YEAH! BREAKFAST!" Stoica jumped up epically. Airzel smiled and shook his head. Stoica was… adorable. Annoying, and pretty stupid, but really adorable. He proceeded to serve the pancakes and bacon. Stoica began nomming on his pancakes.

"Your pancakes suck." said the ginger flatly. Airzel held up the greasy bacon spatula threateningly. Stoica shrunk back down into his chair. "…Sorry. Don't hit me…!" The ginger scrunched up and blocked his face. Airzel patted him on the head before returning the scary evil spatula to the kitchen.

The tender moments between the two were rare and far apart, but each one was cherished. As Stoica finished his breakfast, Airzel began putting dishes in the sink. And yes, they have a full functional kitchen on that airship. Don't ask me how!

Later that day, the airship arrived at Neathia, near the coordinates that Gill had specified. The entire place was a hot mess. Buildings were burning, bodies lay in the streets, and Phantom Dharak was rampaging like a motherfucker, kicking baby Lumagrowls out of his way and stepping on Tigrerra kittens. God damn.

Airzel and that ginger kid exited their dickship and began walking into the mess. Gill was exactly where they had been told he would be- hiding behind some warehouses. Kazarina's dead body was slumped on top of a heaping pile of trash in a dumpster.

"Bro. Nice dead body you got there."

"Shut the fuck up and help me hide this better."

Airzel proceeded to shut the fuck up and help Gill scoop up Kazarina. They tried hiding her everywhere- behind the dumpster, in a box, under a hobo… but everywhere they tried, the body would obviously stick out, and they'd get caught and probably drawn and quartered or something.

If they were lucky, they'd get tarred and feathered. And if they were super lucky, they would get dungeon time with minimal food, water, and contact. But if they were unlucky, they'd get a stern talking to, complete with Barodius waving his finger at them seriously and going "tsk tsk" in a condescending tone. Those punishments were always the worst, because they usually ended in someone getting zapped with Barodius's Magical Gundalian Lightning Powers™. And when he broke out the Magical Gundalian Lightning Powers™, you know shit was about to get serious.

Airzel saw the perfect place to hide the body- one of the few dumpsters in Neathia that was actually empty! Holy crap! The only problem with that is that they would have to cross…

THE STREET.

Crossing THE STREET was very dangerous, you see. For going out in the open was risky. What if Barodius saw them? What if Phantom Dharak saw them and told Barodius? What if some old Neathian lady saw them and had a heart attack on the spot? Hiding two bodies would just downright suck.

But they had to do it.

Airzel grabbed her feet, Gill grabbed her bloody head, and Stoica just kinda followed along as they crossed the deadly, horrible street. Stoica began to give words of encouragement, like "You can do it!", and "You go girl, hide that body!", and especially "Fuck this shit I'm hungry!".

And that was when it happened. The first serious moment in this entire story.

They got caught.


	6. The Chapter Before The Last

"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?"

Barodius was struck with horror, rage, and constipation all at the same time when he saw his three subordinates carrying a body. And not just any body- the body of his future queen. He had already snapped when he learned that the only way he could get Jesse to listen to him was to hypnotize him. Snapping again would only cause the events of Mechtanium Surge's first arc. And it wasn't time for that bullshit yet.

"Dharak! Go into full-force murder mode!"

"But I am in full-force murder mode, master!"

"THEN GO INTO FULLER-FORCE MURDERER-MODE! JESUS!"

Dharak began shooting bigger lasers than before and charging straight at the three corpse bearers. Their only feasible response was to whip out their own Bakugan and attempt to fight back.

"Hey guys, I've got this crazy idea that we should totally try!" said Stoica.

"Go right ahead, asshole. We're only facing certain death here." snarked Airzel, who was more pissed than ever.

"We should ride our Bakugan into battle. It sounds crazy, but hey: we won't strain our voices from yelling…"

"Don't say it."

"ABILITY ACTIVAAAATE!" he shouted in the same manner as one would shout something about playing a children's card game on a motorcycle.

"Damnit."

Gill didn't give a fuck about dying. He'd already done what he'd been written into this story to do. So he charged headfirst into one of Dharak's murder mode lasers, killing himself and Krakix at the same time. Airzel flipped his entire shit. Summoning Strikeflier, he climbed onto the giant bird monster's shoulder and flew into battle. Stoica followed suit with Lythirus, and it turned into an all-out war. Abilities were activated, lasers were fired, and expensive Battle Gear units were destroyed.

"Hey guys can we be in this chapter-"

"JESSE, REN, GO THE FUCK AWAY."

Jesse met his death by standing too close to Dharak's giant feet. Blood and guts and chunks of Shakespeare flew everywhere, spattering buildings and getting on Stoica's clean robes.

"GOD DAMNIT JESSE I AM GOING TO… oh wait you're already dead. Oops." Stoica said with a giggle. Airzel facepalmed.

Suddenly, the Battle Brawlers appeared. Airzel was uncertain of them; he had said some really offensive things about the ninja kid's dead mom and had used some really racist terminology around that ginger Mexican guy. They would probably bomb his house or something while he was sleeping.

Luckily, the Brawlers served as a wonderful distraction for Barodius. The kid with the dragon started going on a tirade about how Barodius was some evil douchebag who needed to have his ass handed to him. The nerve of him! Airzel and Stoica attempted to use the few minutes they had to get away.

"Oh no you don't. Get over here, assholes!" Barodius barked. And with that, Dharak fired his laser, hitting the targets right on the mark.

"Game over. I win."


	7. Oh Shit it's the End

Airzel woke up in a Neathian alleyway near some rubble and stuff. Stoica was next to him, unconscious. His arm was obviously broken, and he was barely breathing.

"Shit… gotta find a hospital…"

Airzel flipped his hair out of his face, only to realize that he actually couldn't see out of that one side, even with the hair moved.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Gotta get help."

After stumbling around for a bit, he passed out on the sidewalk. Was this what death felt like? Because it sure as hell was peaceful.

"Where… am I?"

Airzel woke up in an unfamiliar room. Everything was bright white, and he could hear voices in the background. Was this heaven? No, he wouldn't end up in heaven. God hates those who assault small dogs and children. He came to the conclusion that he was in some Neathian hospital. Ew, Neathians. Oh and EW, HOSPITALS.

He sat up slightly and was met by a horrible headache. That annoying "YOU ARE A PIRATE" song kept playing on repeat in his head, drowning out the voices of the nurses who were swarming around him. The only thing he really got out of their constant chattering was that there was apparently some sort of spicy mac-n-cheese available in the hospital cafeteria that day. The more he knew!

As he began to come to his senses, Airzel began to realize what had really happened. He had avoided death… death, Barodius, Dharak, explosions, lasers… Stoica. Shit, where was Stoica? Stoica was adorable, why did he have to die… did he die? Was this real life? Or was this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality? Reality… this is definitely real life, this hurts, gotta slow down. Why is my face numb, am I going blind, oh shit I only have one eye now, god damnit this headache is horrible, gotta stop, stop thinking… stop.

Dead stop.

Airzel went through his thoughts, picking out the important parts: he was half-dead, missing an eye, in some hospital, and he had no idea whether that ginger kid had survived or not.

Days passed. Weeks, probably. Airzel was confined to that tiny bed in that painfully bright white room. Nurses came in and out, bringing needles, tests, charts, and the occasional meal. None of them would talk to him outside of standard procedure. Even more days, maybe even weeks passed. He was allowed to leave his room for a while, and he used the opportunity to just kind of wander around in the hospital. They gave him a cool eyepatch that made him feel like some epic badass pirate or something. But he still worried about Stoica.

The next day, his worries were alleviated when the doctors told him that he was allowed to visit his little ginger bitch. He was actually kind of excited, which was a feeling he never really experienced, especially when Stoica was involved. He was led to Stoica's room, which was about 413 times fancier than Airzel's. And the nurses were about 1025 times sexier! What the ACTUAL FUCK was with this hospital? Stoica interrupted.

"Airzey! You survived!" he squeaked as he attempted to glomp onto the mint-haired Gundalian. The first thing Airzel noticed was his right arm, which had been recreated out of metal and made into some sort of robot arm.

"Chill, boy. You're still recovering. Don't overdo it."

"But the doctors said I was fine! The arm took, and it works just like a natural one!"

"But you're recovering!"

Then the doctor walked in.

"Shut up, minty. He's fine. The arm took, it works like a natural one, yadda yadda yadda." the doctor said medically. "Don't try to outdo me. I WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. I GOT THE DEGREE. I. PLAYED. TRAUMA CENTER!"

"Watch out, we're dealing with a badass here!" whispered Stoica. The doctor heard this and stomped off. "I HOPE YOU GET AIDS!" he yelled.

After the doctor left, shit got kinda romantic.

"I'm glad you're alive." said Stoica.

"Same." said Airzel. He then looked left, looked right, and kissed Stoica. On the lips this time.

"But what are we going to do about Barodius?" asked Stoica.

"I don't know."

After they got out of the hospital, they moved back into their shitty condo to begin planning.

Planning what, you may ask?

Revenge.


End file.
